


Pier Pressure

by orphan_account



Series: The Town in Reverse [3]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Reverse Falls, Gen, Reverse Falls, Reverse Gideon Gleeful, Reverse Pacifica Northwest, Reverse The Inconveniencing, Role Reversal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-18 02:49:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5895154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gideon needs a babysitter for the night, and who would make a better candidate than resident nerd Robbie Valentino? Things take a turn for the deviant when Wendy and her gang pressure Robbie into joining them at a supposedly haunted lake spot. Feeling like a child, Gideon is uncomfortable around Robbie’s rowdy friends. When the lake spot turns out to be sinister, Gideon becomes a lot <em>more</em> worried about getting back alive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Misadventures in Babysitting

Sometimes even the most exciting monsters in Gravity Falls couldn't beat TV. It had all the thrills of a monster hunt, but any high-stakes danger stayed safely behind the glass. Also Gravity Falls had no talking dogs. Gideon and Pacifica sat on the couch armed with only blankets and popcorn. Hospital drama  _The Dogtor Is In_ blared from the TV. The only monsters on this show were medical. 

A panic-stricken nurse stood over a hospital bed accompanied by a fluffy blonde poodle wearing a lab coat and stethoscope.  _"But Dogtor!"_ the nurse cried. _"We've run the tests! The diagnosis couldn't possibly be wrong!"_

 _"I know the symptoms like the back of my own paw!"_ Dogtor Sparky barked, the dialogue showing up as subtitles. _"This patient has... barckolepsy."_

A dramatic chord followed, and the camera zoomed in on the Dogtor's fuzzy face. Then it cut to commercial break.

Gideon gasped. "I knew it!"

"That dog's a genius," Pacifica said. She perked up. "Oh hey, the new trailer's out!"

The TV showed a burned down mansion and a stiletto crunching against glass.  _"She's an heiress turned renegade,"_ the deep-voiced trailer man said. Every good action movie had one.  _"And this time... it's a_ family  _matter."_

The camera panned up to a blonde woman in a tattered ballgown and smeared makeup. With a gloved hand, she wiped her lipstick off and cocked an impractically large bazooka. In bold text, the screen read:  _Mitzi Misfire: The Family_ _Reunion._

"This speaks to me on multiple levels," Pacifica said. Her excitement turned to disappointment when the rating came up on the screen. "Aw man, it’s PG-13!"

"Maybe we can sneak in!" Gideon said.

Pacifica stifled a laugh. "Yeah, I don’t think so."

"What? We’re old enough now! We can pass for thirteen!" Gideon said.

"Gideon, I _am_ thirteen-"

To Gideon, this bombshell was the equivalent of Pacifica telling him she had a long-lost twin. "How long have you been thirteen!?"

" _Awhile_ ," Pacifica said cryptically. She broke into laughter. "Just kidding, I turned thirteen in April. You weren’t here, and it’s never come up so... yeah."

"You mean you've been a teenager for two whole months!?"

Gideon had never minded that Pacifica was older during previous summers. Without school segregating everyone by age, they'd never needed to address the age gap between the two of them. But that was before thirteen. Before the separation between kid and _teenager_. Pacifica sat right next to Gideon on the couch, but she may as well be in a different room. Heck, a different  _house_.

And like Gideon's approach to all his problems, he stressed internally.  

Pacifica didn't pick up on the severity. "Relax, dork. You're not far behind me! And at least you're in the double digits now."

"Double digits!?  _Double digits!?_ " Everyone knew age ten was only a pretend milestone birthday to make kids feel like they were making actual progress. "Who cares!? You can go to teen clubs and teen parties, and soon you'll be going to high school and then learning about how babies-"

"Nope! Pacifica out!" She scurried under the couch. "I've still got one year of happiness left before high school ends my streak, and I am _not_ talking about it."

"At least you're out of _elementary_ school! I thought I was growing up, getting bigger, but everyone probably still sees me as a little kid!" Gideon said - god, even his squeaky Southern twang sounded childish. "What's next? Kid's menus!? Babysitters!?"

"Gideon?" Footsteps squeaked against the floorboards, and Bud came into the living room. "I'm heading out tonight so I'm leaving you with a babysitter."

That was the final nail in the coffin.

"I'm never gonna be old!" Gideon wailed.

Without any context for Gideon's outburst, Bud did the best he could to provide a reasonable explanation. "Now I know you'd manage fine by yourself, but I don't feel comfortable leaving you at home for so long without a responsible adult."

"Why can't Pacifica watch me?" Gideon protested. "She's basically an adult."

"Did someone say my name?" Pacifica said from underneath the couch. Her arm shot out holding a long-expired chocolate bar. "You think Soos will eat this?"

"I don't know what it is, but I so will!" Soos hollered from the gift shop.

Bud may have been a more relaxed parent compared to some families, but even he drew a line regarding responsibility. "I have someone a little older in mind. I'll be leaving in a few hours, and I expect you'll give him no trouble."

"But-"

"No buts."

Bud rarely pulled out the, "No buts" line, but whenever he did, Gideon knew not to argue back. Gideon sighed. "Fine. Who's...  _babysitting_ me?" Saying the word out loud made Gideon feel like he was five again. He may as well be.

As if he were waiting in the hall for Bud to cue him in, Robbie entered the living room. "Hey, Mr. Gleeful, just wanted to let you know I double-checked inventory- Oh hey, Gideon! Excited for tonight?"

Gideon stared open-mouthed. "You're kidding.  _Robbie's_ babysitting me?"

"Whoa, we don't have to call it that!" Robbie said. "I like to think of it less as babysitting and more as... funsitting!"

"That's not a real word," Gideon said flatly.

"Fair point!" Robbie's voice cracked. He nervously ran his fingers through his hair. "But we can still have fun, right? I'll bring my computer!"

Gideon crossed his arms, unimpressed.

"Also I'll order pizza."

* * *

To be fair, the pizza Robbie ordered was delicious. Which was good, because everything else was terrible.

He insisted Gideon be in bed by nine per Bud's instructions, he wouldn't let Pacifica and Gideon explore the woods, and his idea of, "funsitting" was teaching them how to code. Pacifica suggested mutiny. Gideon almost decided for it.

Worse, every time Gideon looked at Robbie, he was reminded of how little everyone saw him. What was so different about Gideon and Robbie anyways? Robbie was just a taller, ganglier, and generally more awkward version of Gideon. If Gideon was a computer geek. And read stuffy old poetry. 

Speaking of, Robbie was drudging through his dog-eared 19th century poetry compilation. He also took time to explain _every_ theme and motif in each poem. Gideon and Pacifica made up his not-so rapt audience. Pacifica nodded off after the first stanza. Gideon couldn't stop marveling at how the book was thicker than a dictionary. 

"'I traveled through the forest, which was green, and picked up a single blade of grass, which was also green. The praying mantis, which was green, gazed upon my frail form,'" Robbie read with reverence for each word. "See? The color green is actually a symbol for the writer's envy of-"

Pacifica exploded. "I can't take it anymore! Don't you have something from this century!?"

"But these are classics!" Robbie said.

"Yeah, classically  _boring_."

Robbie sighed and dejectedly put away his poetry book. "Okay. I guess you guys aretoo young to appreciate classic poetry anyways."

Gideon perked up at the mention of too young. "No we're not! We're very well-versed in the classics!"

"Since when are we well-versed in anything?" Pacifica said. "Literally the only thing we've read older than a hundred are fairytales."

"Because we needed those for the fairytale game!" Gideon said.

"Wait, fairytale game?" Robbie said. He pulled his chair closer to Pacifica and Gideon. "I smell backstory. Spill."

"When we were younger, Gideon and I would re-enact fairytales," Pacifica explained. "Gideon played the princess! I was the witch."

She pulled out a photo from a time when Pacifica didn't have braces and Gideon wasn't shorter than her. The two of them were doing their best impression of a fantasy book cover. Pacifica wore a witch hat two sizes too large for her head and a ratty black bathrobe. She pointed a makeshift wand at the helpless Princess Gideon.

Robbie took the picture. "For real? I can't believe Gideon's wearing that dress!"

"He ended up making a crown to go with the it too!" Pacifica said. "Kind of silly, I know, but we had so much fun."

"Yeah! When we were  _younger_!" Gideon said with forced emphasis. "Definitely outgrew that..."

Maybe Gideon  _hadn't_ outgrown the fairytale game. Maybe he  _had_ been planning on asking Pacifica if she wanted to play it again. And maybe he _hadn't_ done so yet because he was too nervous. This proved he'd made the right decision!

But deep down, he wished there'd been some... declaration that the fairytale game was over. Something more than an offhand comment from Pacifica.

Pacifica seemed not to dwell on it. She and Robbie had moved on to discussing the mysterious goat that lingered around the Craft Shack.

"Someone probably just left him here," Robbie argued. "If Bud would stop feeding it-" The honk of a car horn made him go rigid.

Gideon and Pacifica exchanged confused looks. Gideon said, "Whoever that is, we should probably tell them the Craft Shack is closed."

"They're not here to buy anything," Robbie said with a slight edge in his voice. He tensely approached the door.

"Who's they?" Gideon said.

With the kick of a black combat boot, the door flew open. A teenager bigger than Pacifica, Gideon, and Robbie combined ran into the gift shop and tackled Robbie to the floor. With it, he knocked down two card stands and a lamp. "Surprise, Robbie!" the teen yelled.

"I can't breathe!" Robbie said from underneath the teen's belly.

Before Gideon could say anything, Wendy Corduroy sauntered into the Craft Shack. Three other teenagers followed her. "What up, Robbie?"

"You have got to be kidding me," Pacifica said.

The teen who tackled Robbie lifted him up and gave him a rough pat on the back, sending Robbie stumbling a few steps forward. Robbie straightened his glasses. Despite the gesture, his posture was hunched over, more uncertain than before. He said, "Guys, these are my... friends."

Gideon stared in fear and awe at the teenagers. Contrary to his expectations, they weren't wearing matching leather jackets and snapping their fingers. But they all radiated a sense of... togetherness. He whispered to Pacifica, "Is this Wendy's gang you were talking about?"

Wendy shot Gideon a glare that could burn buildings down. "Why don't you watch your mouth, kid?"

With a girlish squeak, Gideon cowered behind Pacifica. He doubted Robbie would be able to provide much protection. He peaked at Wendy and saw she was still glowering at him.

Robbie wearily pinched the bridge of his nose. "I guess I should introduce you guys. The guy who tackled me is Thompson-"

"That's right!" Thompson slammed his fist against the wall, making the entire Shack rattle. 

"The other two guys are Nate and Lee." The guys with ripped jeans and too many piercings for Gideon to count nodded. "Tambry's the one in the flower crown."

"Namaste." The girl with long, scraggly purple hair gave a half-hearted wave. "That means, 'No worries for the rest of our days.' You probably didn't know that."

"...And you guys have already met Wendy."

"Unfortunately," Wendy said. She squinted at Gideon. "Aren't you Mabel's boyfriend?"

Hearing _her_ name gave Gideon horrifying flashbacks. "I am not! Who's been saying that? Is that what people think?"

"Relax, it was a joke!" Wendy said. "Someone get this kid a chill pill."

Only a few days had passed since the... _incident_ with Mabel Pines, and it had left Gideon quite shaken. Pacifica had been careful about not mentioning her name around Gideon unless he brought it up first. And then Wendy had barged in and dropped it within minutes. All the progress Gideon made felt undone. 

Robbie stepped protectively in front of Gideon and Pacifica. "Why are you guys here anyways?"

"To bail you out of this lame babysitting gig!" Nate said.

"Also we  _may_ have told all our parents we'd be hanging out with you," Lee added.

"Guys, I think you're forgetting one crucial detail," Wendy said, her voice commanding silence and threatening those who dared disrupt her. "Robbie's more than just an alibi. We  _want_ him to come with us."

Robbie said nervously, "Where exactly do you want me to go?"

The question brought a fire in Wendy's eyes. "I found an old abandoned cabin at the lake. We're gonna be the first ones to enter it in  _decades_. And you're coming with." 

"I can't leave Gideon by himself."

"Then we'll take the toddler with us!" Wendy said. "Heck, I'm feeling generous today. Northwest can come too."

Pacifica's mouth dropped. " _Really_?"

"Toddler!?" Gideon said at the same time. He turned to Robbie. "We're not seriously gonna go with them, are we?"

Throughout the entire exchange, Robbie seemed to shrink. He glanced back and forth between Wendy and Gideon like he was caught in a crossfire. His eyes met Wendy's. Gideon knew Robbie's answer before he even said it. "Sure. We'll go with you."

"SWEET!" Thompson fist-pumped the air. "To the Death Rider!" He barreled out of the gift shop with everyone close behind. Gideon was the last one out, and he dragged his feet the entire way. 

The Death Rider turned out to be a dinged-up minivan. _Really_ dinged-up. Gideon didn't think his dad wanted him riding in a safety hazard. "Uh... Thompson? Where are the doors?"

"They fell off! Why else do you think it's called the Death Rider?" Thompson said.

Wendy grinned mockingly. "Try not to fall out. Hey, Robbie, the kid doesn't need a car seat, right?"

"I don't think so." Robbie mouthed, "Sorry!" to Gideon and slid into the car.

Firstly, Gideon hadn't needed a car seat since last year, and secondly, if Wendy wanted to know,  _she could have just asked Gideon._

When Gideon was younger (well, younger than everyone apparently thought he was), he threw tantrums. He'd scream and pound his fists on the floor as if trying to bring the whole house down. Bud would simply wait them out. Gideon had outgrown tantrums a couple years ago, but every now and then, that urge to scream and pound his fists flared up. Now was one of those times. 

The only thing holding him back was spite. Also if he threw a tantrum, that would do nothing to make him seem older.

So Gideon sat silently in the very back of Thompson's car as it sped through Gravity Falls. The teenagers pounded the roof of the car and sang along to a rock song with words Gideon would get in trouble for if he said them out loud. The mindless lyrics gave Gideon time to consider where Wendy was taking them.

He just hoped they made it back in one piece. More importantly, before Bud came back. 

* * *

Thompson pulled -more _crashed-_ his car against the edge of the woods. Wendy led the group through a narrow, twisted trail. It was barely a trail - they all had to push branches out of the way and watch out for roots. After a five-minute walk, Wendy stopped.

"All right guys." She pushed the branches back. "Check it out."

The woods opened up to reveal Lake Gravity Falls, a peaceful retreat so picturesque it belonged in a postcard. The rumors about a lake monster lurking beneath the waves did nothing to diminish the charm.

Standing at the edge of the lake was a cabin with cracked windows and a sagging rooftop. The whole thing looked like it might fall apart in a single push. The cabin was dark, and with the sun going down, it was only going to get darker. A small pier as precariously built as the cabin jutted out into the lake. 

Two faded blue rocking chairs sat on the cabin's porch, swaying ever so slightly in the breeze. At least that's what Gideon _hoped_ was making them rock.

"They say this cabin belonged to a husband and wife," Wendy said. "One day, the wife died, and the husband was so heartbroken he never left the cabin again. He's buried beneath the floorboards. Legend has it if you knock three times, he'll knock back."

The teenagers murmured "Wow's" and "No way's," speculating about the old cabin with more wonder than fear. Gideon on the other hand found the story disturbing. "Someone actually  _died_ here?"

"Yeah! And we're next!" Wendy said clutching her heart. She dropped the horrified act and scoffed at Gideon. "Lighten up, it was a story."

"Way to kill the mood, kid," Lee said.

They all had a good laugh at Gideon's expense and eagerly walked toward the cabin. Gideon lingered at the back of the group. He pulled Pacifica aside. "This is a terrible idea."

Pacifica had been unusually quiet since Wendy had invited her to come along. She said, "Yeah, most of Wendy's schemes usually are, but... they're actually tolerating me."

"Paz, who cares?" Gideon said. "We'll probably end up in jail if we keep hanging out with Wendy! I can't go to jail!"

"We won't go to jail! This place looks sketchy, but isn't the whole point of our summer to  _find_ sketchy things?" Pacifica said. She brought up a good point. A possibly haunted cabin was way more exciting than reading old poetry. "If things get creepy, then we'll leave. Simple as that."

"You mean it?"

"Yeah," Pacifica said. "Now let's live on the edge!"

They caught up with the teenagers who were all standing at the edge of the cabin. The excitement had died down a little bit, and the teenagers waited for whoever dared to enter first. Naturally, Wendy stepped forward.

"I got this." Wendy pulled a hatchet out of her belt loop. With a devilish twirl, she sang, "Heeeere's Wendy!"

"Wait, shouldn't we check if it's unlocked before breaking in?" Gideon asked.

"Oh yeah," Nate said. He tried the door, and it creaked open. "That was easy! Are you psychic, kid?"

A sense of accomplishment swelled in Gideon. Naturally it was promptly forgotten by all the teenagers, save for Wendy who looked ready to drop-kick him into the lake.

They went inside. The first thing Gideon noticed were fish. Lots and lots of fish. Fish-themed wall decorations, a fish-shaped lamp, _actual taxidermied fish_ mounted on the walls. They must have been in the living room judging from the giant fireplace and the cozy couch with a now-raggedy quilt. With the lights on, this place might feel warm and homey. In darkness though, it felt creepy.

He glanced over at the fishing poles leaning against the window. The rusted hooks dangled menacingly, daring anyone to latch on. Something about fishing always freaked Gideon out. How did it feel to be a fish, thinking you found some nice food only to be reeled in to a trap and chopped up for someone's dinner?

Gideon felt eyes on his back. He wondered if anyone else felt the same.

"What do we do now?" Robbie said.

Wendy smirked. "Whatever we want."

And so the teenagers ran wild. They all scattered like birds, pouncing on everything they could explore in the abandoned cabin. The only people who didn't immediately take off were Gideon and Robbie. Bud may have been a laid-back parent, but even he never allowed Gideon this much free reign.

"So you're not running off too?" Gideon said with a hint of bitterness in his voice.

"Aw man," Robbie said. "I'm sorry for dragging you into this. But I can't say no to Wendy."

"Hmph."

Robbie looked around the cabin. "You and Pacifica like exploring, right?"

"Yeah," Gideon said.

"Then let's explore!" Robbie said. "Let's each try to find the weirdest thing we can think of and show them to each other!"

Gideon was still irritated, but he couldn't say know to the only teenager offering him an olive branch. "Fine."

They went their separate ways, Robbie heading to the second floor and Gideon opting to stay on the first. He walked down the hallway and tried not to look at the fish mounted on the walls. Those hollow glass eyes bore right through his soul. As his feet hit the creaky wooden floor, he wondered if there really _was_ someone buried beneath the floorboards. 

Gideon regretted not following Robbie. In the heat of the moment, he'd wanted nothing to do with teenagers, to prove he could hang with them as an equal. Now he wanted a flashlight. And a driver's license so he could drive himself back to the Shack. He'd settle for a flashlight though.

Gideon tried each door and found most of them were rusted shut. Finally, at the very end of the hall, Gideon saw one door ajar.

He pushed the door open, revealing a study. The study was covered in black and white photographs. They all showed a man who Gideon realized with a chill was probably the owner of this cabin. He was always doing something mundane like cheerily fishing on a boat, sitting in a rocking a chair, or proudly holding a catch of the day.

Only some of the pictures were ripped in half. A few of the glass frames were cracked and shattered, giving the photos a distorted quality. Gideon could sometimes make an arm or a leg, so someone else had to be in the pictures. But who?

And more importantly... why had they been ripped out?

He felt eyes on him again. There had to be something in this room that was weird but wouldn't induce nightmares. Gideon eyes landed on a singing fish - that was nice and harmless! Bud used to sell those in the Craft Shack until he grew tired of every customer pressing the button. This one was a sea bass with a goofy smile. Gideon reached up and pressed the button.

 _"Swimmin' down the river, my worries passing by!"_  the sea bass sang to the tune of a silly reggae beat. Then the animatronic fish jerked to a halt. It started the song back up again, this time with scratchy slowed-down music. In a deep voice, it sang,  _"Run while you can or a_ _ll your friends will die."_

Gideon screamed and swiped the fish off the wall. "Die fish, die!"

The sea bass crashed to the floor and stopped mid-demonic chant. Gideon heard footsteps rushing in his direction.

"Is there a cat in..." Robbie entered the study and saw Gideon. "Oh, it was just you."

"No! I saw a cat, and it ran away!" Gideon said defensively. He wanted to smack himself in the forehead. Why didn't he just tell Robbie the truth? Oh right, because who would believe that an evil singing fish wanted them to leave the cabin?

Before Robbie could question him, Gideon rushed out of the study hyperventilating. What was he supposed to do? If he tried to tell one of the teenagers what he'd seen, they'd dismiss him as a scared little kid. But he couldn't doom them to a haunting. 

He needed some air. More importantly, he needed to get the heck out of this cabin.

Meanwhile, Pacifica was testing the waters with the other teenagers. She steered clear of Wendy; any chances of friendship between the two of them had been dashed ages ago. Nate and Lee hadn't thrown her in the lake, and the last time she seen Thompson, he was playing with the saw. She did not want to get in the way of that.

Her best chance was with Tambry. Pacifica knew about Tambry's reputation. She was anti-consumerism, anti-capitalism, and probably anti something else that started with a, "c." She also had a vendetta against technology. Tambry cutting the high school power lines was the talk of Gravity Falls for weeks. If Pacifica wanted Tambry to like her, she'd have to choose her conversation topic carefully.

While Pacifica pretended to look at a pot left on the stove, Tambry calmly rifled through the kitchen drawers. She picked out dried herbs and put them in her dress pocket. Pacifica sidled up next to her. "Say, Tambry, why are you stealing a dead guy's stuff?"

 _Nailed_ it.

"He can't use these use these anymore, so technically I'm  _recycling_ ," Tambry replied. "Someone has to give back to the environment."

"That makes... perfect sense! Does buying all my clothes from Shop Thrifty count as recycling?" Pacifica said.

Tambry contemplated it for a minute. "You're getting everything secondhand so yeah, I guess. That's pretty smart."

"It is?"

"Sure."

Tambry called her _smart_! She may as well have offered Pacifica a million dollars, because that was the greatest thing she could have heard. Maybe there was the slightest chance Wendy's gang could like her. Or maybe it would last only for a night. But tonight felt like one those nights for big things to happen! Who knew what fate held in store for Pacifica?

While Pacifica basked in basic human decency, Gideon's paranoia grew. He thought being outside would make him less scared, but this entire area was giving him spooky vibes. The sun was down now, and the moon illuminated the lake in an ethereal hue.

Gideon saw he wasn't alone and held back another high-pitched scream. A figure stood at the edge of the pier. His mind screamed _Ghost! Demon! Lake monster!_ He couldn't jump to conclusions.

Perhaps the cabin wasn't abandoned after all.

He cautiously approached the pier. "Hello? Do you live here?"

The figure was silent. Gideon couldn't even tell what he looked like with the black hood concealing his head.

"We're really sorry about trespassing. We'll leave if you want us to! I would never have even come here if..." The figure was too still. Not even the slightest head movement to show that he was listening. Gideon came a few steps closer. "Hello? Can you hear me?"

The figure slowly turned around. Beneath the hood wasn't a man at all. Not even a human.

It was a mass of slimy, writhing worms. Gideon uttered only syllables, too horrified to form a coherent sentence. The worms wriggled beneath the fabric and then the robe burst open. The worms came down like rainfall, and Gideon screamed at a pitch only dogs should hear.

Gideon's scream could have brought the whole town to the lake spot; unfortunately for him, it only brought all the teenagers.

"Whoa, are you freaking out, kid?" Lee said.

"N-no, I-" Gideon stammered.

"He totally  _was_!" Wendy said. She doubled over laughing, and the teenagers joined in. Gideon felt like he'd been caught sneaking out in the middle of the night, only this felt _so much worse_. "I haven't screamed like that since I was in preschool!"

The only ones not laughing were Gideon, Pacifica, and Robbie. He would have pointed out the worm creature, but it had vanished. Gideon tried once again to explain himself. "I saw something at the lake and-"

"I just got a totally rational idea!" Thompson said. "We should jump into the lake!"

Gideon remembered the worm creature. "No! You can't go in there! We have to get out of here before-"

Thompson flew past Gideon and cannonballed into the lake. Lee and Nate took off their shoes and shirts and ran after him. Tambry and Wendy dove in shortly after. Gideon could only watch, completely appalled at their disregard for safety.

With a flip of her hair, Wendy said, "Wow, this lake is  _so_ scary! Careful, guys, or the lake monster's gonna eat us!"

"Have you guys even considered that this place might _actually_  be haunted?" Gideon said.

"Sounds like Gideon's taking a ride on the Lame Train!" Nate said.

"I am not-"

"Lame Train! Lame Train!" the teenagers chanted.

Gideon wasn't embarrassed anymore only because he was livid. He shouted, "I'll bet you guys would take me seriously if I were a teenager too!"

The chanting stopped. "All night, you've been picking on me because I'm a kid!" Gideon said furiously. "I've tried not to be scared, I've tried to fit in, but I can't make myself older! And I'm sick of it!"

What really sucked about making a valid point was when everyone chose to ignore it. There was an awkward silence between the teenagers, a moment of choosing right or wrong. Right would be apologizing. Wrong would be ignoring the problem altogether.

Of course, Wendy chose wrong, and her word was law. "If you're gonna be a buzzkill, wait at the car."

"FINE!" Gideon stormed off the pier. "Pacifica? Are you coming?"

Pacifica was about to answer when Tambry said, "Hey Pacifica! Get in here!" 

She looked back to the lake and then at Gideon. She hesitantly removed her jacket and shoes, not making eye contact with Gideon. "For once, they're actually being nice to me. I don't wanna jinx it."

"But you said if I wanted to leave, you'd come with me," Gideon said, his voice trembling.

"I said if things got _creepy_. They're not! Sure, this place is kind of weird and we're making really dumb decisions..." As Pacifica listed the reasons out loud she sounded more and more unsure of herself. She pushed those worries to the back her head. "Can't you just roll with it for a few more hours?"

Pacifica had chosen her side, and that side wasn't Gideon's. It hurt.  _A lot_. But the only thing Gideon could express was anger and frustration.

"I'm not rolling  _anywhere_! Except the car!" Gideon said. He whipped around one last time and said, "And I can assure you, the car will  _not_ be rolling! 

Pacifica almost followed him. Then Tambry called her name, and she decided to go to Gideon a little bit later. The teenagers' kindness wasn't going to last forever. Pacifica ran across the pier, feeling lighter with each stride. She jumped into the lake with cheers from everyone. The water was a little chilly, but once the teens started splashing each other, Pacifica didn't even notice. For the first time, she felt like a real teenager.

 _I'll talk to Gideon later,_ Pacifica promised herself. But as she splashed around with the other teenagers, the sense of belonging was just too sweet to part from.

* * *

Being a single parent left little free time for Bud Gleeful. Not that he minded; Bud never saw Gideon as a chore. He was a wonderful child. But Bud hadn't had a night to himself in ages; he'd more or less forgotten what to do during a night on the town.

Not that his night on the town could be considered grand. At seven o'clock sharp Bud went to The Scoop. Run by Toby Determined, The Scoop was, "The only showtunes reporter-themed ice cream parlor in Gravity Falls!" The person he was supposed to meet should have been here by seven thirty. Bud was still in the booth fifteen minutes after eight. An empty cup that once held bubblegum flavored ice cream was pushed to the side.

Bud twisted his wedding ring, sliding it off and sliding it back on as if stuck in a loop. There was nothing suspicious about going to a brightly lit ice cream parlor and talking with someone. The thought did nothing to alleviate his nervousness. He could at least take comfort in Gideon having a lowkey night with Robbie.

"Bud Gleeful?"

Bud knew that voice. However, this was not the person he was meeting that night. He smiled as a lean elderly man in simple black clothes and a clerical collar approached his table. "Reverend McGucket! How nice to see you!"

It was only a matter of time until Reverend Fiddleford McGucket found Bud. When he wasn't preaching, he was checking in with the townspeople. Of course, any Southerner knew, "checking in" often coincided with, "gossiping." Even a reverend was only human.

"I saw that straw hat and knew right then who it must be! It is such a joy that you've returned to Gravity Falls! Has it really been three years?" McGucket said.

The underlying question was  _What made you come back?_ Bud had his reasons. He almost thought about spilling them to McGucket. Something about the twinkle in his soft blue eyes made Bud feel like he could tell McGucket his entire life story.

Bud couldn't though. He'd already kept his secrets for three years. Another day was nothing by now.

"I was just looking for a change of scenery!" That was half-true. Texas was scorching in the summer. "Also I wanted to get the Craft Shack back up and running again! I needed a break from the used car industry."

"Well, I wish you all the best in your enterprises! I know how difficult it must be raising a son on your own, and with your wife, well... The point is you are always welcome in our congregation," McGucket said in that comfortingly familiar Southern accent.

"I appreciate that, Reverend."

McGucket put a warm hand on Bud's shoulder. "We Southerners have to stick together after all! I'll leave you to your ice cream then."

He bid Bud farewell and left The Scoop, not before conversing with a few other customers.

Bud was on his second cup of ice cream when he finally swept into The Scoop. Bud almost berated him about being a whole hour late, but something stopped him. Maybe it was politeness ingrained into him since birth. Maybe it was fear that he'd set the man off.

Regardless, Stanford Pines had showed up at last. Now Bud couldn't back out.

"Your choice of venue's tacky," Stan commented as he slid into the booth. "Luckily, I make a living out of tacky."

Despite being taller and heavier than Stan, Bud felt diminutive sitting across from him. Not to mention he felt underdressed compared to Stan's impeccable blue suit. He couldn't quite make out Stan's eyes thanks to the tinted glasses which only made Bud even more uneasy. Like he was staring at a husk of a human being. 

Bud anxiously cleared his throat. "Lovely night, isn't it?"

"Cut the crap, Gleeful. Your son broke my great niece's heart, so unless you're here to propose a marital union, I'm not in the mood for small talk," Stan said.

"Very well. You know why I called." 

"Then let's get down to business. So," Stan said, propping his feet up on the table, "what do you want to know about my house?"

* * *

Gideon sat on the hood of Thompson's car. A few minutes later, Robbie came.

"Mind if join?" Robbie asked, bearing cans of Pitt Cola as a peace offering. Gideon silently took one and popped it open. Robbie jumped up next to Gideon. "I'm really sorry about my friends. They can be jerks sometimes, especially to kids."

Gideon groaned. "Even _you_ see me as just a kid. Why are you friends with them if they're such jerks?"

Robbie took a contemplative swig of Pitt Cola. Truthfully, he'd asked that same question to himself countless times. While he strived for a 4.0 GPA, Wendy and her friends strived for anarchy. He knew he should step in at the least or cut them out at most. But whenever he found himself thinking  _This is the last straw, this is the last time I'm going to hang out with them..._

"I guess I'm scared no one else  _wants_ to be friends with me," he finally said.

The confession hung heavy in the air. Saying it out loud made it sound silly, but Robbie's worry was very real. Gideon said, "If I were a teenager, I'd be your friend!"

"You are my friend!" Robbie said laughing. "What sucks about puberty is making friends gets a whole lot harder. Must be a hormones thing."

Gideon knew very little about, "hormones" but it sounded like the name of a dragon who hoarded childhood dreams.

"Wendy and me are both outcasts, but at least she's the cool kind," Robbie continued. "Me? I'm just lame. Pacifica can attest to that. Of course, she's got her fair share of struggles."

"She does?"

"Don't get me wrong, Pacifica's got a thick skin, but..." Robbie stopped himself. "I should probably let her tell you. Not really my place and all."

Gideon and Robbie sat in silence for a bit. Gideon imagined this must be what being a teenager was like. Sitting on the car with nothing but the crickets chirping and splashes in the distance. He could almost picture himself taller and deeper-voiced.

But no matter how much he could pretend, Gideon was still ten. "You're  _all_ older than me. Even Paz. I wish I was older too."

"Really? I'd give anything to be a kid again. Like when I was kid, computers were just a fun hobby. Then I hit high school and suddenly my teachers started talking about, 'bright future' and 'wasting potential.'" Robbie said using air quotes. "Maybe I don't wanna be a programmer. Maybe I wanna start a band or something."

Gideon had dabbled with the idea of being an explorer like in the movies. He'd travel all over the world and find hidden temples and magical artifacts. He could do without the booby traps and evil scientists though. He just had a hunger to uncover the mysterious. It was like a giant a scavenger hunt!

But if grown-ups treated Gideon's skills the same way they treated Robbie's... Gideon didn't know if he wanted to become a teenager.

Robbie looked toward the cabin. "You hear that?" 

Gideon listened, but the woods were quiet. "No..."

"Exactly." Robbie hopped off the car. "We should probably get back and make sure Thompson hasn't burned anything down."

Gideon followed Robbie back to the cabin. The teenagers were no longer splashing around in the lake. "Where did everyone..." Gideon trailed off. "Robbie! Look!"

Their shoes and jackets lay untouched, including to Gideon's dismay Pacifica's technicolor letterman jacket.

"They're probably inside the cabin," Robbie reassured Gideon. Only he didn't sound like he believed what he was saying.

They went back in, Robbie going first. "Hello? Guys? Wendy?" Robbie said. He was greeted only by silence. Robbie went through the entire cabin, and Gideon stayed right by his side. Not a single one of them was in the cabin.

"It's okay!" Robbie said in a high-strung voice. "Maybe they went somewhere-"

A knock came from the floorboards.

Gideon and Robbie stared petrified at each other, neither one wanting to make the first move. "Did that come from where I think it did?" Gideon said.

Robbie nodded stiffly. They pressed their ears to the floor. Robbie raised his fist and rapped three times against the floor. Three knocks sounded back, sending them both hollering and jumping. 

"This place is haunted for real!" Gideon screamed.

"Your dad's gonna kill me!" Robbie screamed back

"If the ghost doesn't kill us first!"

"What if we become ghosts too!?" Robbie said. "I can't haunt a place with no Wifi!"

"I tried to warn you..." a scraggly voice echoed behind them.

There was a brief moment of processing that the voice they heard was neither Robbie's or Gideon's. Once that moment was over... they screamed some more. Robbie and Gideon clung to each other as a light materialized from the floor. It rose up, slowly forming a human silhouette.

The silhouette gain form and facial features. Gideon realized they stood (more-cowered) face-to-face with a much more dead-looking man from the photographs. And he looked  _very_ angry.

* * *

**GRJWRU VSDUNB GRHV QRW FRQGRQH SHHU SUHVVXUH.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Telepathy Twins was pretty dark, so Pier Pressure's going to be a lot lighter! More fun and wacky than the last story. My main inspirations for this story were the ghost stories I read as a kid and Until Dawn. Although I don't think any of my corny teen dialogue could ever top, "Jesus hot sauce Christmas cake."
> 
> Sidenote: I'm assuming that Pacifica's in the same grade as Dipper and Mabel, and since they have a really late birthday for rising 8th graders, I figured she'd be thirteen by now. If that proves false... well, I'm screwed!


	2. The Phantom Fisherman

When there was something strange in the cabin, who were Gideon and Robbie gonna call? _No one_.

The ghost of the abandoned lake cabin, while wispy and translucent, had fishing lines protruding from his back. At the ends were sharp fishing hooks floating menacingly like tentacles. He gazed upon the human trespassers with sunken eyes and said, "Who _dares_ enter my cabin?"

"Please don't hurt us!" Gideon whimpered. "Whatever we were doing was probably Wendy's fault."

"Don't tell him that!" Robbie said. "Please, we just want our friends back!"

The phantom fisherman let out a bellowing laugh. "YOU FOOLS! There is no- wait, there are more of you?"

Gideon and Robbie exchanged confused glances. "Yeah... didn't you hear the other teenagers?" Robbie said.

The ghost was silent for a moment then his mouth dropped into an o. He flew to the window. He saw the shoes lined up on the pier and shook his fist at the lake. "Dang-nabbit! She got to them again!"

The ghost's fish hooks detached from his back and dejectedly sunk back into the floor boards. Without them, he looked like an ordinary human save for the bluish glow. Upon realizing the ghost was  _not_ going to drag them to the other side, Gideon and Robbie relaxed a little bit. However, the ghost's outburst added to their confusion.

" _Who_ got to them again?" Robbie asked.

"I was so close to getting a good old fashioned scare!" the ghost lamented. "Why can't she let me have just _one_!? Ain't I entitled to one good scare!?" He stopped, remembering his unwilling guests. "I wager y'all are looking for an explanation." A ghostly banjo appeared in the ghost's hand. "I am Fred the fisherman. And this is my tale."

Robbie interrupted, "We don't have time to-"

" _This is my tale,_ " Fred the fisherman insisted with more forcefulness. He strummed his banjo and began. "Many seasons ago, I was an ordinary human. And I was married to an extraordinary woman. Her name was Zenobia."

Gideon thought back to the pictures in the study. Was Zenobia the person cut out in all of them?

"What I didn't know at the time was my beautiful Zenobia was a sea witch."

Definitely her.

"Probably should have reckoned she was what with her taking all those night swims," Fred said, stroking his fluffy beard. "But that's love for ya! I'd go fishing, she'd scare all the other fishermen away, we lived a mighty fine life! Until... the Snap Jacks."

"The Snap Jacks?" Gideon said.

Fred shuddered in his waders. His jaunty banjo tune turned somber. "The Snap Jacks. One of those greasy gangs. With their snapping fingers and their hip-shaking dance moves! They were throwing a dance party outside our house, and their music was so loud they caused me to crash my boat."

Reading the journal had given Gideon some knowledge of how ghosts operated. Usually they had a reason for not moving on to the afterlife. Sometimes it was unfinished business or feeling wronged, but ghosts never stuck around for no reason at all. From the sounds of it, Fred the phantom fisherman had a heaping pile of unfinished business...

"So that's why you haunt the cabin," Robbie realized. "To get revenge on the teenagers who caused your death."

"Revenge!? I'm not that petty!" Fred let the banjo go, and it drifted to the ceiling. "No, all I wanna do is give'em a good scare! Teach'em a lesson! But _Zenobia_ swore vengeance on all teenagers. After I became a ghost, we couldn't agree on what to do with those delinquents. That was when she returned to the lake."

That was the last place Gideon had seen the teenagers. He looked out the window at the shoes. He dreaded asking, but he had to. "...if a bunch of teenagers went swimming in that lake spot, would she notice?"

"You talking about those hooligans splashing around earlier? I reckon so. Your friends are probably at the bottom of the lake by now," Fred said.

"You mean they're..." Gideon didn't want to say the word out loud. It would make everything too real.

"Dead? Of course not!" Fred said. "But they are trapped in her underwater lair for all eternity."

"What!?" How was that better than death!? Pacifica was with the teenagers. She _was_ a teenager. If Zenobia was as vengeful as Fred built her up to be, she could be tormenting her right this second. "We have to save them!"

"It's no use, child. You are mighty sweet though. Zenobia would like you," Fred said.

Gideon turned to the closest thing to a responsible adult. "Robbie, we can't just leave them there!"

"I'm with you, Gideon. We won't," Robbie said. Then  _he_ turned to the closest thing to a responsible adult. "Fred, we can't just leave them there!"

"Hmmm. You two _do_ look awkward and nonthreatening. Maybe she'll listen to you. She won't listen to me anymore," Fred said wistfully. Behind his ghost eyes was an afterlife of struggles and failed reconciliations. "Tell her Fred sent ya. That might put her in a good mood. Or a bad one. Only one way to find out!"

The lake awaited them the same way a spiderweb awaited a fly. No one would ever know that six teenagers were trapped beneath that calm surface. Gideon gulped. He could swim. That was about the only advantage he had.

Robbie asked Fred, "So all we have to do is jump in the lake?"

"Ya got that right!" Fred said. "Now get on out there or get the heck outta here!"

Gideon and Robbie left the cabin and approached the pier once again. The teenagers' shoes still sat there as a final warning of _Turn back!_  They slipped their shoes and socks off with much less vigor than the other teenagers had. Robbie removed his glasses and unbuttoned his shirt. Gideon removed his hat and vest. It was like removing armor.

Robbie said nothing so he wouldn't frighten Gideon. Gideon said nothing so Robbie wouldn't see him as a scared little kid. The only time either spoke up was when Gideon pulled the journal out of his vest. "Guess this isn't waterproof."

"You'll have to leave it," Robbie said. "Not unless you wanted it to be ruined."

Gideon hesitantly stored the journal underneath his hat, feeling like he was giving up an arm or a leg. He joined Robbie at the edge of the pier. No journal for Gideon, no glasses for Robbie. They stood side by side in only t-shirts and pants, exposed to the elements. The water lapped gently against the pier. They both knew better about what lurked beneath it.

"Ready?" Robbie said.

He was doing this for Pacifica. He wouldn't forget that. Gideon took a deep breath.

"Ready."

They plunged into the lake.

* * *

When it came to etiquette, there was an unspoken set of rules Bud was used to abiding by. Discomforting topics were never to be brought up. Personal problems stayed personal. Most of all, if someone had a secret, everyone knew it even if they acted like they didn't.

Stan Pines had his own rules, or lack thereof. "How's my house treating ya? Have you found a new special someone yet-" He took notice of Bud's wedding ring. "I guess not. Can't believe you're still wearing that thing. I'd have chucked it off years ago. But that's just me."

He was just the way Bud remembered, even down to the gray hair. His baby blue suit looked more expensive, and that watch around his wrist was definitely gold, but no amount of money could buy off Stan's crass personality. Those poor twins.

"I converted it into a gift shop," Bud said. "It's called the Craft Shack. It's an honestestablishment."

Stan scoffed at the mention of honesty. "Figures. I would have named it something with a little more _mystery_ like... uh... I can’t think of anything at the moment."

"I hope you aren't looking to buy it back," Bud said.

Stan laughed, a raspy sound from years of smoking cigars. A gold tooth at the back of his mouth was visible. "Ha! You think I  _want_ that hunk of junk back?"

Over ten years ago, Bud bought the Craft Shack from Stan, at the time just an ordinary house. With his cheap suit and run-down camper, Stan had practically begged Bud to buy the Shack. Once Bud signed the contract, Stan took off. He didn't even pack his things up, leaving Bud to go through boxes and boxes of junk. Bud never saw him again. Until now.

Up until now, Bud also thought he knew every corner of the Shack. Then a few days ago, Bud was restocking the vending machine. Something... strange happened. The one person who would know what to make of it was Stan. 

Bud brought it up casually, trying not to let Stan get a read on him. "You didn't tell me about the basement."

Stan's lips curled into a grin. This was why Bud hated talking to Stan. He never knew if Stan liked him or if he was just playing him. "Now what could possibly be so important about an old, dusty basement? It sounds like you've got yourself a nice,  _honest_ establishment going already."

It was a dare, a gamble. Did Bud lay his cards all out, or did he try to prod at Stan one more time? He had to try. He had to know.

"I noticed the vending machine has a passcode on it."

"You can't get in, can you?" Stan said knowingly.

Any stoicism Bud had a grip on vanished. He never did have a good poker face. Stan shifted in his seat with the ease of a dealer holding the perfect deck. Of course, Bud was never a gambling man, and men like Stan Pines were the reason why.

"You must know it," Bud said. He almost added a  _Please_ for good measure but figured Stan probably didn't know the meaning of the word.

"Watch yourself, Bud." Stan leaned back in the booth. "Talk like that, and I might think you have personal investment in this."

Bud stood up. "If you aren't going to tell me, I won't waste your time-"

" _Sit down_."

That wasn't a request. Bud stiffly sat back down in the booth. Stan laced his fingers together, his gaudy rings glinting in the lights. "You have a spare key to the Shack. I know because it used to be _my_ spare key. I want it."

"What on earth would you need it for?" Bud said, slightly alarmed.

"Depends. Why do  _you_ want to get in the basement?" Bud didn't respond. Stan smirked. "That's what I thought. You get me that key, I'll get you the passcode."

The offer was a deal with the devil, but Bud would have preferred the devil. Stan picked at something in his teeth, waiting patiently. He could afford to wait; he had nothing to lose in this arrangement. If Bud turned down Stan's offer, he'd lose his his first lead in three years. Who knew how long he'd be waiting for the next one?

He couldn't take staring up at the ceiling every night, trying to put the pieces together. Not anymore. He _had_ to know.

"I'll have the key to you in a week," Bud said.

"That's what I like to hear. Now," Stan sat up and extended a hand. Bud stared uneasily at it. "Call it insurance. I wouldn't want you backtracking on your end of the deal." After a moment of thought, Bud silently shook hands with Stan Pines, his rings digging into Bud's hand. 

A few booths over, a family of four cheerfully spooned a sundae. Bud envied how complete that family was. Outside, the sky was black, lit only by the stars and the neon glow of the ice cream parlor. It provided a grim, but fitting, backdrop to the creamy pastels inside. Shady deals in bright places. Dark and light together again.

Bud had a creeping feeling Stan wasn't going to slink back into the dark so easily as last time.

* * *

"You know, I kind of expected something to happen."

Robbie and Gideon floated in the lake without a single sea witch in sight. A fish swam by.

"Maybe she's not listening right now?" Gideon suggested.

"Wendy and the others couldn't have been in the lake for more than five minutes before they disappeared. We've been in here so long my _fingers_ are pruning." Robbie held up ten wrinkly fingers. Gideon looked down at his own hands and saw his were too.

An idea came to Gideon. "Wait, think. What was everyone doing when they jumped in the lake?"

"I don't know, splashing?" Robbie said. "Nothing out of-"

Before he could finish, Gideon splashed him right in the face. Robbie, spitting out lake water, said, "What was that for!?"

Gideon continued doing it. "Splash with me!"

And then Robbie caught on. He splashed back at Gideon in the most polite splash fight to ever occur in Gravity Falls. If Robbie was a little more aggressive and Gideon was a little less cautious, they might have actually had a real fight going. Instead, they fought like very frazzled ducks. 

"Say something rebellious!" Gideon said.

"Like what?"

"Anything!"

"Um... one time I skipped class to go to a poetry reading!" Robbie said. Nothing happened. "I let Wendy copy off my math homework!" Still nothing. Robbie had one more trick up his sleeve. "I think flossing is stupid and a waste of time!"

With that, the water went unnaturally cold. Gideon and Robbie stopped splashing. Bubbles began rising out of the lake, and the current picked up. _We did it!_ Gideon thought. Oh god, they'd done it. It was a moment of triumph overshadowed by the sheer terror of whatever awaited them at the bottom of the lake.

As the water bubbled, Gideon began to run through their plan. Only... "Robbie, do we have a plan?"

Before Robbie could answer, something cold and scaly grabbed them by the ankles and pulled them under the water. The rush of water drowned their screams out, leaving only bubbles of air floating to the top of the lake. Down they went, deeper and deeper into the lake. Seaweed brushed against their faces, and the light from the night sky grew dimmer until they couldn't even see each other. 

Whatever held them let go. Gideon heaved- he was breathing! How!? He looked around for Robbie, but the water was pitch black. Then slowly, small orbs of light came to life. A bubble of air surrounded Gideon, Robbie too. He touched the bubble out of curiosity and felt only cold smoothness.

"What is this place?" Gideon said. They were inside a grotto. All around him were splintered paddles, ripped fishing nets, and other gadgets and gizmos with no real value. "How did all this stuff get there?"

"I don't know. Man, think of all those poor, unfortunate souls..." Robbie said, his eyes landing on a waterlogged piano.

A school of sleek silver fish darted into the grotto. Gideon and Robbie froze. The water rippled as the fish swam, circling faster and faster until they were a blur. A pale green hand with sharp black nails rose from the swarm of fish. The fish dispersed, revealing a figure draped in tattered sails and fishing nets. Her hair was a tangle of seaweed leaving her face hidden.

There was no doubt as to who this was. As Zenobia the sea witch lifted her head, Gideon and Robbie saw what Fred said about his former wife was true. Zenobia _was_ beautiful. Beautifully  _horrifying_.

"N-nice place you got here!" Robbie squeaked.

Zenobia swam silently around her two prisoners with the grace of a serpent. Gideon looked away. With veiny skin and black lips lined by thin, needly teeth, Zenobia lingered in an unsettling boundary between human and nonhuman. She stopped in front of Robbie's bubble.

"Tell me," Zenobia said. Her glowing eyes had no pupils, but they still bore right through Robbie's soul. "What is... the difference between a tuna and a piano?"

"Uh... a lot of things," Robbie said.

"Interesting answer." Her voice had a light, almost musical, quality. Her spiderlike fingers danced across the sunken piano. "But no. The difference is... you can tune a piano but you  _can't_ tuna fish."

She broke out into laughter, amused by her own terrible joke more than Gideon and Robbie. Gideon was astounded. This was a mistake. The entire evening had been a procession of terrible mistakes, but Gideon thinking even for one  _second_ they could reason with this sea witch was a colossal mistake.

Robbie cleared his throat. "Zenobia-  _Mrs._ Zenobia- or Ms.Zenobia! We came here to ask for our friends back."

"Which friends? The fish?" Zenobia said.

"No, the teenagers who jumped into the lake right before us," Robbie said. "You know... the loud ones."

"You mean _these_ teenagers?" Zenobia pulled out a green glass bottle from her hair. Robbie and Gideon gasped. Tightly corked within the bottle were six tiny balls of light in six different colors: red, purple, pink, green, blue, and yellow.

"What have you done to them!?" Robbie said.

Zenobia laughed airily. "There's no need to get so sentimental. I've merely stored their essence in a less... talkative form." She lifted the cork and a chorus of screams erupted from the bottle. Gideon heard Pacifica's high-pitched scream in the mix and held back a cry of his own. Zenobia hummed to their shouts. "Symphonic, is it not?"

_Pacifica._ The last conversation Gideon had with her replayed in his head. He banged his fist against the bubble and yelled, "Let them go!"

"Let them go?" Zenobia said. She jammed the cork back into the bottle, muffling the screams. "Why?"

"Because..." Gideon could vouch for Pacifica. But everyone else? The teenagers who'd done nothing but pick on him all night? Saving them was the right thing to do, but that didn't mean Gideon could form an articulate debate on  _why_. "Because... they don't deserve to spend the rest of their lives at the bottom of a lake with a creepy sea witch!"

"And if you let them go, we promise they will  _never_ bother you again!" Robbie added on a nicer note.

"Never again..." She seemed to drift away into a deeper plane of thought. Or maybe she was thinking up more fish jokes. Gideon couldn't tell. Suddenly, Zenobia raised her arms. "I like my plan better. You two can join them."

The water began swirling around her arms. Gideon shouted, "WAIT! Fred sent us!"

"Fred..." The water stopped. His name brought an unstable serenity over Zenobia. "Fred rhymes with said... head...  _dead_." Zenobia rushed forward and pressed her bony hands against Gideon's bubble. She growled, "Why did Fred send you!?"

"I told you! To get our friends back!" Gideon said.

"You're lying! That selfish coward can't even speak to me in person." Zenobia traced a finger over Gideon's bubble, and summoned another current. "I'll sentence you to the same fate as the rest of your insufferable teenage friends. Yes, perfect. That'll show him!"

"But I’m not even a teenager!" Gideon said.

Zenobia pulled away from the bubble. Her eyes glowed brighter, as if finally seeing Gideon for the first time. "Oh, why didn’t you say so?" 

"Yeah! I'm ten!" It was the only real leverage Gideon had. If he could get Zenobia listen to him, he might be able to get everyone out of here. "So now will you let our friends go?"

"No. But I'll be keeping you forever as a pet," Zenobia crooned.

Or not.

"Now," Zenobia said, "what do you call two humans with no regard for living establishments?"

Zenobia began to twitch as she took control over the water, preparing to trap Gideon and Robbie with the others. A panic-stricken to Robbie looked over to Gideon in a silent plea for help. If only Gideon had the journal. The journal would know how to deal with a witch. 

Wait. A devious witch. A magical lair. People in peril. Estranged lovers. 

_Gideon knew how to deal with this._

"Wait!" Gideon said. Zenobia stopped. "Before you trap us here for all of eternity... can we tell you a story?"

Zenobia tilted her head, the water rustling her hair. "Perhaps. What kind of story?"

"Gideon, what are you doing?" Robbie said through gritted teeth.

"Trust me on this," Gideon whispered. "I was thinking... a  _fairytale_."

"What a daring proposition you offer." Zenobia drummed her fingers against a sunken canoe. She stabbed a nail into the wood. "I do hope it's a good fairytale."

"Oh, it will be," Gideon said, his fear gone now that he was in familiar territory. "But I'm going to need a few things for this."

"Like?"

"Remember the blonde girl with braces? I need you to release her," Gideon said. "To help me tell the fairytale."

Zenobia considered his offer. She then flicked her wrist, and the pink orb floated out of the bottle. It grew bigger until it was the size of Gideon and Robbie's bubbles. Then with a flash of light, the bubble turned clear, and a still screaming Pacifica Northwest appeared inside of it.

Her screaming died off when she saw Robbie and Gideon. "Guys! How did you get here!?"

"Same way you did," Gideon replied. "Oh, one more thing, Zenobia: I can't do this without a princess costume."

With a snap of Zenobia’s fingers, Gideon’s clothing poofed into a sparkling pink ballgown with puffy sleeves and a ginormous skirt. A glittering tiara appeared on top of his head. 

" _Excellent_."

Pacifica, out of the loop and disoriented from being trapped in a bottle, understood instantly what Gideon had planned. This was the fairytale game they'd played as kids taken to the next level. And this time their lives depended on it.

"Once upon a time there was a sea witch, and she was very lonely," Gideon began. "Day in and day out, the sea witch would venture to the surface and snatch up helpless princesses to keep her company. No one dared venture to the sea witch's lair to rescue the stolen princesses."

Pacifica effortlessly slipped into the role of narrator. "One fateful day, the sea witch captured Princess Gideon. Only one person could save the princess: Robert the Ruthless!"

Robbie froze up. He was more than fine watching Gideon and Pacifica play out the fairytale. Pacifica and Gideon waited for Robbie to join in, but he couldn't think of anything to add to the story. The awkward pause didn't deter Gideon though.

"And so Robert the Ruthless charged after the sea witch!" Gideon said. "A warrior and a prince, Robert the Ruthless followed the sea witch to her cave. With his secret weapon..."

"...a poetry book!" Robbie said weakly.

Gideon mouthed _Really?_  but continued on. "Not just any poetry book! The most boring poetry book in the world! All across the land, not even the fiercest creatures could withstand more than five minutes of Robert's poetry before falling into a deep sleep. With this poetry book, he battled creatures that could have skewered him alive! Then finally he reached the lair of the sea witch."

Robbie was slowly catching on. He brandished his poetry book like the mightiest of swords. "I've come to rescue Princess Gideon!"

"And the sea witch cackled." Pacifica let out a surprisingly witchy cackle. "'You fool! Not only will you never rescue Princess Gideon, but you shall also never see the surface again!'"

"Then Robert the Ruthless did the unthinkable: he threw his poetry book down and pulled the sea witch into a loving embrace," Gideon said. He made sure Zenobia was listening closely to the next part. "For you see, the witch was also... his wife!"

Zenobia drew back as if physically pained. Gideon worried she might halt the storytelling and turn them into crabs. But despite her visible distress, Zenobia did not interrupt. Gideon pressed on. After all, this was the most important part.

"Long ago, before Robert became ruthless, he was a simple fisherman married to an extraordinary sea witch. But they had an argument, a horrible argument! In a rage, the sea witch left him!" Gideon said.

Robbie now easily picked up the narration. "Back in the cave, the sea witch was frozen in disbelief. Robert uttered, 'I stand before you not as a warrior, but as your husband. For I spend my nights alone yearning for you to be by my side again. As the days go on and I grow older, I come here to beg for you to come back with me.'"

"While the sea witch's heart had hardened over the years, deep down she still loved him," Pacifica said solemnly. "Her husband pleaded no longer with words but merely his heart. For even though he had grown old and she had taken so many lives, he loved her all the same"

"The sea witch gazed upon her husband. Then she..." Gideon paused, letting the dead silence fill the cave. Zenobia was now hooked to the fairytale. "I'm afraid that's all we can tell you." 

"But how does it end?" Zenobia said.

"We don't know yet," Gideon answered. "Should the sea witch reconcile with Robert? Or trap him in the same way she trapped all those princesses?"

Zenobia was silent. She withdrew into her folds of clothing the same way a child buried herself beneath a blanket. In a small voice, she said. "This story is about me and Fred, isn't it?"

"Fred misses you a lot," Gideon said. "You guys haven't talked for a  _really_ long time. Weren't you in love?"

"Our love sank ships," Zenobia murmured. "Literally. People drowned."

"Do you still love him?"

An indescribable but familiar facial expression came over Zenobia. Gideon recognized it because it was the same look that came over Bud any time Gideon brought up his mom. Thinking about her husband, Zenobia looked the most human Gideon had seen her. She didn't have to say she loved Fred. Gideon could tell.

"You know what Fred called you? _Extraordinary._ I know it's been awhile, but you can still make amends," Gideon said. He thought about his dad. "Not everyone can do that."

"Do you think he'll take me? After all this time?" Zenobia said.

"There's only one way to find out."

Zenobia wrapped herself around a sunken buoy. She looked out toward the cave exit and gripped the buoy harder. "You're right. I'll go to him. I am scared though."

"You can do it! You've got a lot of great stuff going for you!" Aside from the luring humans into entrapment part. Speaking of... "I hate to ask, but can you actually let the others go? I know they're huge jerks and no one would miss them..." Gideon caught Robbie glaring at him. "...but I'm certain they'll  _never_ bother you again.

"Very well. Thank you, child," Zenobia said. She uncorked the bottle and the other orbs of light floated out. "But know if they ever come back, I  _will_ drag them down here by the roots of their hair."

"That's fair," Gideon said.

Zenobia waved her hands, and a flurry of bubbles surrounded everyone. He looked one last time toward Zenobia. She gave a small smile before the bubbles propelled Gideon and the others out of the grotto, shooting them back up to the top of the lake. Gideon felt like he was flying. He hoped Zenobia felt the same way.

* * *

**1-25-17'7 14-13-13-14-22-12 6-6-9-12-11-3 22-7-15'2 23-7-5-7 23-21 3-19-4-8 7-3 3-13.**

* * *

Gideon's clothes had thankfully returned to normal after everyone resurfaced. He'd miss the tiara though. Everyone flopped onto the pier, soaking wet and completely exhausted.

"What the heck happened after that seaweed lady trapped us in the bottle?" Wendy said, wringing her hair out.

"Well..." Robbie looked to Gideon. His face fell. There was no way to make marriage counseling in a princess dress sound heroic. "Gideon... he dove down to the bottom of the lake and started whacking her with a paddle. Then he grabbed the bottle and smashed it! It was  _awesome_."

"Whoa, you really did that?" Nate said to Gideon.

"That's insane, kid!" Lee said. "I can see why you brought him along, Robbie."

The teenagers were being so...  _nice_. Gideon didn't know how to react. Robbie gave Gideon a quick thumbs up. Gideon was grateful beyond words Robbie had backed him up. Besides, the teenagers didn't have to know what  _really_ happened. 

"Yeah, yeah, the kid saved our butts. Whatever," Wendy said. "At least I got a cool story from this. Who's ready to go home?"

Everyone silently put their clothes back on and piled into Thompson's car. The car ride back was a much calmer one. Thompson dropped Robbie, Pacifica, and Gideon off at the Craft Shack. Although it had felt like an eternity, the night was still young. Bud's car wasn't even in the driveway yet.

Robbie, Gideon, and Pacifica all plopped on the couch with no intention of moving anytime soon. "All in favor of never telling Bud that happened?" Robbie said.

"I," Gideon and Pacifica chimed.

"Hey Gideon?" He looked over to Pacifica. "I'm sorry I ditched you. I was trying so hard to hang with dumb teenagers that  _I_ became a dumb teenager."

After going head to head with sea witch, the argument they'd had felt more like footnote. He remembered how Robbie talked about being a teenager, and Pacifica's actions made a little more sense. "It's okay. You  _are_ a teenager. You got caught up in the crowd."

She playfully punched Gideon in the shoulder. "Well, the crowd didn't save us all from a crazy sea witch."

"Seriously, you jammed," Robbie said. "We should play that fairytale game some time."

"Really?"

"I'm up for it!" Pacifica said.

If Gideon wasn't so worn out, he'd be dragging them out the door right now. But for the moment, he was content. Aside from smelling like lake water, he hadn't felt this happy all night. "Can we just watch TV right now?"

He thought for a moment Robbie might send them to bed. Instead, Robbie grabbed the remote. "I'm on it."

And so the evening ended exactly the same way it began: a talking dog in a lab coat. Gideon wouldn't have changed a thing.

* * *

**UIVW'H VC DRUV HGROO NRHHVH SRN. YFG SVI ZRN RH TVGGRMT YVGGVI!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how about that finale? I cried! This chapter feels more like a footnote after that roller coaster! As you may have figured out by now, this series is going on past the finale. There's a lot of mysteries to still discover, and I hope you guys will all stick around! Thanks for kudos and comments so far, they've really been keeping me going!
> 
> I think this chapter turned out better than the last one! The humor felt more on point, the plot felt smoother, and Zenobia and Fred were a ball to write. I wish I could draw, because Zenobia has the coolest design in my head. I was kind of going for a mix between water nymph and anglerfish. Also Bud's conversation with Stan is definitely not important, and you should probably forget it even happened. Seriously, not important whatsoever. All right, I'm out!


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